More milk or bust!

There may be a point when you are breastfeeding that you have to take medication that reduces your milk flow. Stress can reduce your milk flow too. If you reach a critical level, and your baby is hungry, there are some simple and fun things you can do to bring your milk back.
First off, chill out and lie in bed. Let someone else do the cleaning and take care of the day to day.
Next, eat lots, but have someone else do the cooking. Preferably high protein food like beans and meat. Eat at least six high protein meals in a 24 hour period.
It gets even more fun. Drink beer! What better reason can you have, after your months and months of temperance, than to drink alcohol for the good of your baby?
Drink coffee. Yes, by now you will be guessing that by the time your milk comes back, both you and your baby will be in a somewhat altered state.
Lastly, do anything you can think of that will increase the amount of oxytocin in your bloodstream. Such as have an orgasm or watch a romantic movie with a happy ending.
If you make the self sacrifices necessary to follow this gruelling regimen, believe me, your hardwork will pay off. Both you and your baby will be full, happy, and off your heads.

If you're milk supply hasn't improved after a few hours, seek medical help immediately.

What to expect after the birth

There are lots of texts available on what to expect during pregnancy and labour, and how to care for your baby afterwards. It didn't occur to me at all that I might need to educate myself on what my body would be like after the birth. I had the mad idea that in a week or two, I'd be back to working, albeit from home. Other experienced mothers didn't try to disillusion me, perhaps because they were hoping I would be fortunate enough to do what they didn't, or because they didn't want to scare me.
If you can, talk to mothers to see how they experienced healing from the birth. Here is some of what I experienced to help you prepare:

• The good thing about being pregnant, and there aren't many, is that you don't get your period. No one told me that after the birth, nine months of periods come at once. You can bleed, and bleed heavily, for up to six consecutive weeks. When you are breastfeeding, you will experience mild to severe period pains for at least a couple of those weeks.
• After my own birth, a mother of five told me that she thought giving birth was like being hit by a truck. It absolutely is. You ache all over, and every inch of your body, internal and external, feels tender and bruised. Expect to not want to leave your bed for at least a week. Hopefully, your bed is near the bathroom. If you are staying in hospital, fight for a room with an en-suite.
  
• If you've had a tear or episiotomy, expect to be extra sore around your nether regions, depending on the extent of the damage. It may be at least a few days until you can walk or sit comfortably, or put any pressure on the region without pain. The pain should leave by the time the stitches dissolve (about two weeks). If the pain doesn't go by this time, seek help immediately.

I was experiencing great pain for many weeks beyond the normal two week healing period. Because no-one had told me what to expect the healing process to be like, I just assumed it was meant to be painful for a very long time. I sought advice from my female relatives, but they unanimously said that it took many months to "feel right" again. I settled for that. It wasn't until I confided in my birth attendant, nearly three months after the birth, that she confirmed for me that something was very wrong and I should take action.
Another woman I spoke to had a similar story. After her first baby, she felt pain long after the birth but didn't seek help because she assumed that birth, and the time after, was meant to be painful. At her six week check up, her doctor was appalled to find that her stitches hadn't healed. Sometimes women put themselves through a lot of pain because they are afraid of seeming anything less stoic. Don't be one of them - it's not worth it.

How did you experience healing after the birth?

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Being a mum: the best bits

There's some really lovely things about being someone's mother. Complete responsibility for another's growth and development can get pretty heavy, but there are many moments that lighten the burden. We may forget how we strove to push our bodies clear of the ground, so we could crawl, but our mothers have not.
Looking after a new human makes you present for most of their first fundamental interactions with the world. This week has been particularly beautiful. My son spent the first good chunk of time laughing heartily with me, instead of the hiccuping duck sound that has come out of his mouth thus far when he's tried to chuckle. I stood him on my tummy and jumped him up and down and to the side, and he thought it was wonderful. His laughter, which felt like a wind chime on a summers evening, was the best thanks I could have received.
This week is the first week of his fourth month. Last week he turned three months, which was the completion of his fourth term, which he spent outside of the womb. If he were a wild primate, he would not have been born until last week, because humans are born premature so that women can give birth to their heads. Probably babies would much prefer it if they got to stay inside for that full year.
Now that he's turned three months old, the difference in his ability to interact with his surroundings, even from last week, is very evident. He's done a number of other things for the first time in the last couple days. He now reaches for his toys, sucks with excessive pleasure on his hands, fiddles with his toes, and holds things confidently in his hands. I sincerely hope I don't forget the quiet thrill of watching him do these for the first time.